


I Understand I'm A Liability

by salvetepuellae



Series: Lorde Inspired Fics [4]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Airplanes, Sad, getting sent down 2: electric boogaloo, there are a few other guys mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:34:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27943859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvetepuellae/pseuds/salvetepuellae
Summary: Up here, Dylan doesn’t have to be the cornerstone of a franchise that just doesn’t quite look like its going to work out.
Series: Lorde Inspired Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040669
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	I Understand I'm A Liability

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration from Liability by Lorde.  
> Set at the beginning of the 16/17 season, Dylan's last in juniors. Sorry to him for the content, it's not my fault he sucks <3.  
> Can be read as a stand alone! Dylan shows up in a lot of the stories in this series though so if you'd like to see what he's up to feel free to read the other parts!

Dylan is on the plane and he doesn’t think he ever wants to get off. The sun is setting over the wings, bathing the plane in an orange glow. The cities pass by underneath him as little tiny fields of lights, and he watches them slowly disappear behind them as he rests his head against the window. He’s got his headphones in, music up loud to mute out the sound of the baby crying a few rows ahead of him. He’s a little cramped, his 6’4 frame not made for economy and he feels guilty about his knees pressing into the back of the chair in front of him.

When he gets off the plane, his arms, bare in his Coyotes t shirt will pimple with goose bumps in the cold Pennsylvania air. He didn’t think to bring a jacket with him on board, just packed everything he had with him into a bag as soon as he’d gotten back to his hotel room. His phone will probably blow up - no doubt the news will have broken by the time he lands. Texts coming in from his friends, the guys who made it through camp and stuck, expressing their condolences. _Next year, Dyls_ or _show them what a mistake they’ve made_ or _man fuck the yotes anyway._

Up here, his phone is on airplane mode and no one can touch him. His agent and his family can’t tell him how sorry they are or how there are positives to going back to Erie. The sweaty guy next to him on the plane doesn’t know that Dylan failed again, probably doesn’t even realise there’s hockey to fail at in Arizona. He’s not captain of the Erie Otters up here, and he’s not the third overall pick being sent back _again._ He’s just Dylan, and he can sit in his sadness and just let it swallow him up for a bit. He’s about 30 000 feet away from anyone who is going to expect him to fall back into captain mode. He doesn’t need to be a pillar for 21 other guys right now. He also doesn’t have to be the cornerstone of a franchise that just doesn’t quite look like its going to work out. No one gives a shit about his skating or the fact he registered one point in seven games up here, and its frankly a weight off his shoulders.

Some of the reviews of his play had been positive. He just needed more development, there’s potential in his shot and the way he sees the ice. Maybe another chance at winning would give him the confidence he needed to transition to the NHL.

Most hadn’t been.

The word “liability” had come up more times than Dylan could count. He’d sat in his hotel room, scrolling through his Twitter mentions, reading criticism after criticism. The Yotes had screwed up picking him instead of Mitch, his skating would never be good enough, he was only good with Connor beside him.

There had been one article breaking down the stats of each guy picked after him in the draft and comparing them to Dylan’s. It had some flashy headline about Dylan and the huge mistake they’d made acquiring him. He had made it about halfway through the analysis of Hanifin’s play before he’d shut his phone off, slammed it down on his bedside table.

Too soon the seatbelt sign illuminates over Dylan’s head, signalling the plane’s descent. As they near the ground, Dylan can feel that weight resettling on his shoulders. He’d already spoken to his billets before he’d taken off, so they’ll be there with Alex to pick him up. He prepares himself to plaster a smile on his face when his teammates welcome him back and give him their sympathies. He’s back as their captain and he needs to act like it. He knows that in some sense, this is another chance – his last once – to win, and he should be grabbing at it desperately.

When he gets off the plane, Dylan’s knees pop gratefully, finally able to stretch out after the hours of travel. The familiarity of the airport settles in Dylan’s chest but not pleasantly. He knows who he is here, knows that he’s got to prove himself, that no matter what the team does, people are going to see their success as _his_ responsibility. His hands are a little shaky as he pulls out his phone, looking for the message from Alex to see where he and his billets are parked. He’s got messages from everyone: his parents, brothers, teammates in Arizona, Mitch (he scrolls past that one, isn’t sure when he’s going to be ready to reply) but one in particular catches his eye.

_We’ve got to win gold now_

Its from Mat Barzal. No commiserations, no trashing the Coyotes or talking about his opportunities in Erie. Short, sweet and to the point. It stings a little because it reminds him of this year, of sixth place and all the guys who won’t be back on the team in 2017. He hasn’t even spoken to Mat since February and feels a little bad now. Guy got sent down after two games with the Islanders, had less of a chance even than Dylan. He types in one word - _gold_ – and then picks his bags up and makes his way out to his billet’s car.

They hug him, tell him they’re sorry but that they’re glad to see him again. Alex ribs him a little, tries to get him laughing but most of it goes over Dylan’s head. He’s tired, but he can feel Mat’s text igniting him just a little. He’s back and not going anywhere until the end of the season, and he’s got this chance to prove everyone wrong. He pushes the other guys in his draft class to the back of his mind. This season isn’t about them. He’s going to do whatever he can to show he can do this on his own.

He’s feeling a little vitriolic by the time they get home. He had his chance at a fresh start ripped away from him and so he’s going to change the narrative. He isn’t going to be second to Connor McDavid anymore. Dylan is going to destroy this league and make sure they can’t deny his skill or his skating. He’s going to force them to switch their thinking: Dylan is going to do what Connor did, but better. He’s going to take down everything Connor failed to do, and do it himself.

_Gold, championship, mem cup_

Dylan chose hockey, and he’s going to keep choosing it. He’s going to work at it until he knows it was the right choice. That’s what he needs to do, and he’s going to do it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Mat Barzal really did text Dylan after he got sent down promising to win them a gold medal at world juniors. It's suitably tragic.


End file.
